When I think back on my fondest memories with The Environment, I am easily lost for hours rummaging through them in my mind's eye. That time I won whatever sporting contest . . . when I worked hard on that project and got to see it realized . . . when i liked that girl and totally felt her up like a month later behind that church i didn't even go to . . . yeah. Me and The Environment have had some kick-ass times. I remember one time I was skiing, and it was really awesome. Couldn't have done it without my old pal The Environment.
Well, guess what. It's not 19dickety7 anymore.
Now they tell me some jerknocker named Geroge Bush and a bunch of other dickless old guys are trying to take The Environment away. They've obviously been denied their opportunities in life to eat bananas in a waterfall while putting the squeeze on a pair of hot nubile native girls while a cute baby tapir licks honey from between your toes. These kind of experiences are what make people love and appreciate The Environment. While I was watching two polar bears do ice ballet while sipping fizzy sodas through straws, grinning from their hearts as the aria swelled majestically and accentuated their gracefulness, these Geroge Bush characters were probably trapped under a sheaf of linoleum flooring with only the cat's skin medication and old newspaper clippings for sustenance. How else could we explain their obvious hate for The Environment?
A lot of people say that if we let Geroge Bush ruin The Environment, we'll all die. And I think that sucks.
The point is, The Environment needs our help. If we want to live our lives sucking on vacuum cleaner bags and writhing on the floor, then let's just tell Geroge Bush "a good job." But if you're like me, and you'd prefer instead to eat christmas liquor burgers while go-karting around a tropical island paradise with a gold-medal champion football cheerleader captain rubbing coconut margarita honeysuckle rejuvenating pomade on you . . . then it's time we took a stand and gave The Environment the respect it deserves.
Spread the word, we'll never let you get away with this, Geroge Bush! You are bad! The Environment is not!! Environment, ho!
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